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Day 11: Know myself as divine

Today’s affirmation –

“I am the Divine Source, I am, I am, I am. God comes through me as me.”

Today’s prayer –

“Divine Creator, please change me into someone who feels your presence in my life, who sees the divinity in me.”

The suggested activities for today include meditation, prayer, and reviewing old journals, reflecting on the changes I’ve been through so far.

I’ve been journaling for around 9 years now so I have quite a collection of journals to peruse. Leather-bound, floral, magnetic closing, hand-bound. You name it, I’ve written in it. As I write, I am coming to the end of my current book, my book of shadows. This particular journal spans the time of my leaving behind my status as ‘Mother’, and beginning my journey as ‘Crone’. Looking back through my old journals, I spot a pattern of turbulence. For whatever reason, I am sensitive to each equinox, and have been since I started my menopause journey. It used to freak me out, health anxiety running amok, leaving me drained of all energy, convinced I was about to breathe my last.

And now? I am no longer afraid. I sit quietly with the changes, examining the storm from the calm waters of mindfulness. What message is my body sending me? This equinox, she is telling me she is tired to the bone and in need of a break away from work and DIY. My feet ache as if I’ve been digging my heels in for all I’m worth. My knees are clicky. I’m prone to melancholia. This is not a surprise, after all, I’ve watched the heart of my home being ripped up and put back together in a new combination. The foundations of our entrance hall had to be ripped up, dried, and relaid. My body has responded to the chaos.

My feet and knees have been thoroughly checked over and there is nothing physically wrong with them. The pains are a message I need to listen to.

“For goodness sake woman! Take a blooming break. Put your feet up, and chillax!”

I hear you. I’ve booked off a week with hubby. He’s banned from any activity even loosely connected with DIY. And I’ve also booked a week off all to myself. Every day will have a treat just for me.

In the meantime, I will do my best to relax. Hello wine 🍷

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