Today began like most of my days, at my writing space filing in my Daily Greatness Yoga Journal and asking my Angels “What do I need to know today?”.
This is the card I drew from my deck. I see it as encouragement to try hard not to judge people. After all, I have not walked in anyone elses shoes except my own, so how could I know what someone has gone through to make them the person they are. It’s quite a challenge for me when it comes to my mother, but if I don’t try, I will not grow as well as I might. I may also end up carrying unwanted emotional baggage.
The explanation from the accompanying book goes on to say the card was drawn to help with relationships and instead of judging people harshly, pray for their health and happiness instead.
This weekend I am going to try to do as the card has suggested, and see my mother through the eyes of angels, to pray for her health and happiness. You may remember a few posts back, that my mother told me she was too busy to see me until the end of March next year. As it turns out, I’m heading in her direction for a birthday party. Miraculously a space in her diary has been found and we will see each other after all.
I have been ruminating over this meeting ever since the diary gap appeared. It’s almost as if I started to become the frightened child again. Thanks to some mindfulness meditation (I think I am addicted to Andy Puddicombe’s voice!), I quickly recognised the old pattern of behaviour and thinking and put a stop to it. All I can say is thank God for the clarity thought that comes with menopause!
I practiced a few mental exercises that I learned from my lovely psychologist, and am feeling ready to meet mother this weekend.
As I started to tidy away the deck, a card fell out… “Opportunity to Forgive.” Well hello Angels… reading you loud and clear.
In addition to accepting my mother as she is, with all her foibles and narcissistic tendencies, I will also try to forgive her. This does not mean I have forgotten what she did, nor do I condone her actions, but I choose to free us both for the sake of our souls.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone x