Quick! Let me in so I can go back out again!

Not me. My pup.

Honestly, she’s driving me mad. When we brought home our little bundle of fluff for the first time, we expected a few accidents as she learned to go to the door for her business. It wasn’t long before she had us well trained.

Pup goes to the door.

Pup barks and looks hopeful.

Human slave opens door.

Human slave says “Wee” or “Poop” as required, praising pup on her every success.

Pup returns, triumphant, greeted by super-happy human slave bearing tasty morsel treat.

Fast-forward several months. Pup is very nearly one year old. The door game has changed slightly.

Pup goes to the door, barks, throwing looks at the nearest human slave.

Slave dashes to the door, opens door and waits for pup to exit.

Pup looks at slave as if to say “Ha! Sucker! Changed my mind!”

Slave returns to work, muttering under breath.

23 seconds later (yes, I have timed the little cherub)…

Pup dashes to door again, whirling round, barking and looking desperate.

Human slave sighs, opens the door yet again.

Pup steps out, sniffs air, walks back in, curls up on her throne, and goes to sleep.

Human slave utters very rude words under breath, shoots pup a look, and wonders where the nearest dog training school is.

Back to work for the human slave who is now gainfully engaged in a teleconference.

Midway through slave teleconference pup raises an eyelid, spies the busy human slave, lets out a loud bark at the door.

Human slave hastily mutes mic, rushes to the door, opens it, allowing the needy pup out, again, closes door and refuses to open it again until teleconference is finished.

Pup creates more noise outside as she waits for her slave to let her back in again.

Human slave, patience all used up, approaches the door, expecting pup to dash back inside, only to be met by the “we shall not be moved” protest.

Door slams. Pup remains outside.

Human Googles “Dog Boot Camp”, and so it continues. A battle of wills. Pup seems to be winning at the moment.

Having read “Marley and Me” and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am the hapless owner of a female version, Marlene!

This is a dynamite combination… a totally bonkers pup and a newly menopausal woman.

Happy Monday everyone xx