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One-liner Wednesday… I shall go to the ball.


“Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk!”

I have no intention of being careless with my footwear at this year’s office Christmas party, which is why my new dance shoes have ankle straps to secure the sparkly, glittering treasures to my feet.

I may turn into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight, but I fully intend to go home with both shoes in my possession, irrespective of any alcohol on board!

Today’s one-liner Wednesday is brought to you by Linda G Hill

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Return of the mojo


… all it took to find it was a day in my local city, the last thing I would think to do!

Normally you would not find me anywhere near the city centre at this time of year. It’s so crowded and people seem to have zero patience or manners.

However, circumstances dictated that I’d be in the city this weekend. The seasonally cold weather, the smell of mulled wine and various tasty foods on offer were enough to bring a big smile to my face. The more I smiled, the better I felt, until at last, after much walking through very Christmassy scenes, I found my mojo, and an excellent glass of mulled wine.

I think the key to keeping ahold of it, is to take time to enjoy the moment, instead of always thinking about all the stuff I have to do before the big day.

I really need to pay more attention to the lovely daily sayings I get from my Headspace app!

Happy Monday everyone xx

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Has anyone seen my mojo?

I had it when I woke up this morning.

It was still there at lunchtime when I drove to our nearby town to tick off a few items on my Christmas to-do list. I found a parking space right outside my first port of call, the local butcher. Amazingly there wasn’t a queue to place my order, nor was there a queue at the Post Office for parcel dispatch. The cherry on the top was walking next door to the shoe shop and finding perfect party shoes in my size, half price. My mojo was dancing a victory dance by now.

Returning to work and my inbox may have frightened poor mojo. That and fretting over my over-worked, stressed-to-the-max hubby. During the afternoon, the stress levels rose, joined hands with anxiety, and scared mojo into hiding.

Do you get days like that, out of the blue, no real reason behind it? Meh!

I know I won’t find it at the bottom of my gin and tonic, but it’s always worth a look!

Normal service will resume as soon as I work out what ‘normal’ is.

Have a wonderful weekend xx

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One-liner Wednesday

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

That seems to be pup’s motto for today. Usually she treats me as her slave, showing little affection unless I have food to hand. Pretty much all day she has been a canine limpet. She even sneaked into the loo with me. I hadn’t heard her come in either! Just as well I’ve worked hard on my core and pelvic floor!

After work, I usually try to fit in a short yoga session. It’s great for de-stressing as well as stretching. Today’s session was all about the stretching. Not to be left out, pup copied me as I moved into Downward Dog. Clever puppy. Then, as I moved into seated cobbler, she rested her head on my leg and leaned her weight, as if to help me stretch further.

Aw! Cute puppy. And then she reverted to her true nature. The little furry git attempted to nip me in the delicates, while I was in bridge pose.

Tomorrow, pup can watch me from her crate!!!

Today’s One-liner Wednesday is brought to you by Linda G Hill. Pop over and have a look.

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Quick! Let me in so I can go back out again!

Not me. My pup.

Honestly, she’s driving me mad. When we brought home our little bundle of fluff for the first time, we expected a few accidents as she learned to go to the door for her business. It wasn’t long before she had us well trained.

Pup goes to the door.

Pup barks and looks hopeful.

Human slave opens door.

Human slave says “Wee” or “Poop” as required, praising pup on her every success.

Pup returns, triumphant, greeted by super-happy human slave bearing tasty morsel treat.

Fast-forward several months. Pup is very nearly one year old. The door game has changed slightly.

Pup goes to the door, barks, throwing looks at the nearest human slave.

Slave dashes to the door, opens door and waits for pup to exit.

Pup looks at slave as if to say “Ha! Sucker! Changed my mind!”

Slave returns to work, muttering under breath.

23 seconds later (yes, I have timed the little cherub)…

Pup dashes to door again, whirling round, barking and looking desperate.

Human slave sighs, opens the door yet again.

Pup steps out, sniffs air, walks back in, curls up on her throne, and goes to sleep.

Human slave utters very rude words under breath, shoots pup a look, and wonders where the nearest dog training school is.

Back to work for the human slave who is now gainfully engaged in a teleconference.

Midway through slave teleconference pup raises an eyelid, spies the busy human slave, lets out a loud bark at the door.

Human slave hastily mutes mic, rushes to the door, opens it, allowing the needy pup out, again, closes door and refuses to open it again until teleconference is finished.

Pup creates more noise outside as she waits for her slave to let her back in again.

Human slave, patience all used up, approaches the door, expecting pup to dash back inside, only to be met by the “we shall not be moved” protest.

Door slams. Pup remains outside.

Human Googles “Dog Boot Camp”, and so it continues. A battle of wills. Pup seems to be winning at the moment.

Having read “Marley and Me” and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am the hapless owner of a female version, Marlene!

This is a dynamite combination… a totally bonkers pup and a newly menopausal woman.

Happy Monday everyone xx

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Snow fun with holey wellies!

There’s nothing quite so much fun as being the first person to walk across fresh fallen snow. A couple of inches fell yesterday, catching us Brits on the hop as usual. The panic caused by the sight of a few flakes meant that instead of my usual 40 minute drive home, it took more than 90 minutes.

I was frazzled by the time I got home, and it was too dark for me to take pup out into the fields. However, pup hadn’t missed out. My daughter had taken her out and videoed her getting to grips with snow and ice for the very first time. The jury is still out as to whether pup likes snow or not. My daughter had such a ball walking across untrodden snow, the sound of it squeaking under her wellies.

Fortunately it was my turn today. More snow fell overnight, covering yesterday’s tracks. If it had been a little deeper I would have laid down in it to make snow angels! I can imagine pup staring at me, puzzled, tilting her head the way dogs do when they are trying to work out what’s going on. Undeterred by the shallow snow, I decided to walk patterns into it instead. I was half way through drawing a big heart when I hit a hidden puddle! This would not normally have been a problem for anyone sporting decent wellies, but mine are a little worn in places, key places. I forgot I had a blooming big hole in the right welly and discovered a hidden one in the heel of the left welly. I suspect vigorous overuse of the boot jack to remove said wellies has caused the hole in lefty!

Hopefully Father Christmas will bring me a new pair for Christmas. I hope I’ve been well behaved to make it onto the nice list!

Have a fun weekend everyone xx

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One-liner Wednesday…Ain’t misbehaving!

Well behaved quote

Well ok. If you put it like that … I’d better shape up!

Today’s One-liner Wednesday comes courtesy of Linda G Hill

If you would like to participate in this prompt, feel free to use the “One-Liner Wednesday” title in your post, and if you do, you can ping back here to help your blog get more exposure. To execute a pingback, just copy the URL in the address bar on this post, and paste it somewhere in the body of your post. Your link will show up in the comments below. Please ensure that the One-Liner Wednesday you’re pinging back to is this week’s! Otherwise, no one will likely see it but me.

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Unlike SoCS, this is not a prompt so there’s no need to stick to the same “theme.”

The rules that I’ve made for myself (but don’t always follow) for “One-Liner Wednesday” are:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

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5. Have fun!

One Liner Wednesday