It’s not often I am lost for words. Ask my family. Speechless is a very rare condition for me. That said, I am.
As you know, I was bracing myself for a weekend of parents visiting. From experience, I was in for a whole weekend of my parenting skills being called into question, my drinking habits being scrutinised, all rounded off with some comment on my body shape and/or weight.
Not even the merest hint of a snide comment or disapproving sniff.
In fact Mum was positively positive for a change.
I’m sure my speechlessness is only temporary. I’m now off on business travels to Munich this week so please excuse my absence.
I’ll be back on Friday, just in time for a long weekend.
Good morning! I just thought I’d give you a little heads-up on the next three days…
My parents are coming to visit.
“No big deal.” you might say, or “How nice for you.”
The thing is, for me, this is a big deal and it may not be nice. It largely depends on how my mother behaves towards me and whether or not my dad is in ‘grumpy old man’ mode.
Today I am practicing every coping strategy I have learned over the years of therapy, therapy I needed following being parented by a mum with narcissistic tendencies and a dad who stood by and watched it all happen.
I’ll be off the grid until Sunday evening, when I hope I have nothing more to write about than a pleasant weekend.
In the meantime, my shields are set to maximum strength.
You know that expression “Be careful what you wish for…”? Well it more or less applies to my dog walking experience yesterday but my experience was breathtakingly beautiful
To give you some background, I am now nearly two years post-menopausal. If I thought the changes happening to me during perimenopause were disruptive, they’re nothing compared to the post-menopausal changes!
Some of these changes are well-known. Hot flushes and night sweats have me reaching for a fan and a change of clothing/bedding. Yoga helps with the worst of stiff and aching joints. But who knew about some of the other more obscure changes? Where’s the manual on this? Googling things is such a bad idea as the first set of results usually indicate one’s imminent demise.
Since February this year I developed some odd eye problems. My vision remained steady but occasionally I saw flashes of light, little crescent shapes, almost as like the after effects of flash photography. Incidentally, at the same time, I started taking a statin on the advice of my family doctor. She was concerned with my total cholesterol level and insisted on me starting these new tablets.
I don’t normally read the patient information leaflets. They are scary things and only to be read if something unusual happens. I considered the flashes as unusual, and on reading the leaflet, discovered that visual disturbances were on the list of side effects. Minutes later I had an appointment booked with the optician. My eyes were thoroughly checked inside and out. Every test came back normal. Phew. No signs of retinal detachment, burst blood vessels, low/high eyeball pressure. Everything was normal. So why was I seeing these blooming flashes?
I wondered if they were connected with the menopause and it turns out they are. Oh great! On the one hand, my eyes passed their exams with flying colours, on the other hand menopause has seen fit to bless me with another disturbing thing. Over the past months the occurrences have decreased to almost nothing but I’m left with a little floater and the impression of a gossamer web drifting when my eyes dart around.
More check-ups revealed my eyes are still tickety-boo but not one doc asked about my hormonal state? I have had to do all the research (medical and anecdotal). The answers are there in medical journals and the anecdotal evidence in there on menopause forums. Countless women, scared to death that they are losing their sight, all being checked by medical professionals, all fine, but not getting any answers. Grrrr!
So back to the dog walk. As some of you may know, the annual Hay House World Summit is on at the moment. I listened to an audio broadcast by Lorna Byrne on how our Guardian Angels help us. Mulling this over, I set off with Molly for our lunchtime walk. In the middle of her favourite field, I spoke out loud to my angel and asked for help with getting to grips with my eyes. Within minutes I was surrounded by butterflies. Orange-tips, brimstones, and tortoiseshells. Bumblebees joined the throng, and a robin sang its heart out.
I felt a peace I have not felt in months, and a sense of being looked after. Call it what you will, I know my angel was with me and my request for help has been answered. I don’t know what form the help will take, but it’s enough to know that it’s in hand.
To be clear, this post is simply about what happens to me. It is not medical or metaphysical advice, and if you are at all concerned with any signs and symptoms you have, you should do what feels right for you, whether that’s consulting a doctor or other practitioner. You have choices so use them wisely.
It’s over a year since my pup joined our family and what a year it’s been. To sum it up, Molly is a furry wrecking ball.
Today, while striding across the field for walkies, Molly racing around like the proverbial headless chicken, I was struck with how simple her approach to life seems to be. Her requirements are few. Apart from the obvious needs, here is her list as I see it. Things need to fall into the following categories –
Is it fun?
Is it edible?
Can I rag it to pieces?
Can I hump it? (Yes I know she’s a girl but that hasn’t held her back on the leg humping front!)
If a thing can satisfy any or all of the above criteria she’s a happy pooch. If a thing does not fit, she does not waste time trying to make it fit her needs, she pretty much ‘marks’ it (you know what I mean… yuck!) and walks away. She doesn’t waste emotions on regret that the thing could not be made to fit her needs. She gives not one jot!
Maybe the reason Molly has joined my family is to show me a better approach to post-menopausal life. I may have to adapt some of her criteria, especially number 4, but I like her attitude of chosing the things that make her happy and walking away from stuff she doesn’t need in her life, without the slightest regret.
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