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Ah! That’s better.

The calm after the storm is all the sweeter for having weathered the storm. I think the heady combination of multiple celebrations back to back and the lunar eclipse had quite a disruptive effect on me over the past few days.

Fortunately I’ve learned that these storms do pass. Sometimes you have to ride them out, and other times you need to give yourself a good talking to. Today was ‘talking to’ time.

Pup was hitched up to her lead earlier than usual. She looked at me as if to say

“What’s up Mum? We’re headed out way earlier than usual and you have a ‘look’ that says this is going to be a speed march!”

“It’ll do us both good, pup. I need to have a strong word with myself, and your walk route is the best place for it. Nobody to overhear me.”

An hour later, my move target on my Apple Watch completely smashed, we trooped back in, hot and bothered but happier. Well at least I was. Pup was thirsty and gave me a bit of a reproachful look.

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose and energy, I decided to bake bread without using my mixer. Normally I chuck everything into the bowl, attach the dough hook, and let it do the work. Not today. I was on a mission. There’s nothing quite so much fun as getting your hands into the flour, fingers in a claw shape, and giving everything a good squish. Tactile fun with the added bonus of decent bread at the end.

Next was the kneading… the bit I’m usually happy to leave to the machine. I’d forgotten how tiring it can be. It was almost a full upper body workout! In the past I used to pretend that the dough was a person who’d annoyed me. Great for getting you through the tiring muscle bit. Not today. Today I wanted my bread filled with renewed energy, love, and happiness, so that’s what I focused on as I thumped the poor defenceless dough into shape.

With the weather still warm, the warming wasn’t needed, just a disposable shower cap over my mixing bowl and time.

What to do while I waited?

Listen to a Deepak Chopra talk followed by a pedicure. With everyone one out of the house I had the peace and quiet I needed to listen to the talk. I did not do anything else at the same time… just listened. I used to pride myself on my ninja multitasking skills. Now I see that as not paying attention to what I’m doing. At last I was a human simply being, in the listening state.

It was a great eye-opener… lots of ‘aha’ moments as well as being timely (thank you again, universe).

Then I dug out an unused Christmas pressy… a pedicure kit. An hour later my tootsies were smooth, trimmed, and Barbie pink and my bread dough was ready for knocking back and shaping.

After another Hay House talk the dough was ready for the oven. It would seem that a good talking too was just what I needed.

By the way, the bread turned out delicious.

Wishing you all a terrific Tuesday xxx

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Regaining some balance

Over the past two weeks I have had the privilege and joy to celebrate several family occasions; my own wedding anniversary, my sister’s birthday, and yesterday was my firstborn’s graduation day.

That’s a heck of a lot of celebrating, not to mention travelling. I enjoyed the peace and company of of just Mr D and I for our anniversary. I enjoyed the journey to Edinburgh and back, the look of shock and surprise on my sister’s face when she unwrapped her gifts (it was good kind of shock), and watching my kids and their cousins pick up their relationship where the left off since we last got together.

This week Mr D and I have hosted both sets of parents, as well as our kids’ partners. Military precision planning was needed to feed and transport everyone. At one point I did feel as if I was herding ducks! No sooner had I got the parents where they needed to be, one of them would randomly disappear without saying a word. Not ideal when we needed everyone together for official photographs! One went off to look at some exhibition while another was bending the ear of a nearby lecturer.

All my timings were based around allowing for herding. My nerves were frayed by the time the ceremony started. They continued to fray as we headed to our evening venue for a celebratory meal. My mother is officially the world’s slowest eater. It was painful to watch as each mouthful headed towards its destination, only to head back to the plate as she kept talking. Subtle reminders along the lines of “The next sitting will be due to be seated in x minutes” fell on deaf ears. In my head I was screaming “For the love of God, woman, just put the food in your mouth and stop talking!”.

Aaaaand breathe.

My daughter seemed to have a fabulous day from start to finish. The poor soul burst into tears midway through dinner, not because her gran was bending her ear on some random subject, but because it had just dawned on her that University life was over and she’d not see some of her friends again. I think the response to my Facebook post earlier in the day showed her that good friends do not disappear. The number of ‘likes’ from my university friends and friends from previous employments went some way to reassuring her that this is not the end, it’s the start of something new.

Today is the first day of what passes for normality in the Dean household. Both sets of parents are on their way home. My son and his girlfriend are off to house-sit for a friend. The party is over. The house is empty.

Boy am I tired and feeling very emotional. Music in the radio can set off floods of tears as can looking though yesterday’s photos. I guess I’m coming down from an epic high… ah well. Time to regain some balance.

Wishing you all a wonderful Friday Eve!

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Emergence…

Every morning, while having my first coffee of the day, I have a little ritual I run through to set up my day.

With the help of my rose quartz pendulum, I select an Angel Oracle Card to be my guiding principle for the day.

Next comes the choice of crystals to carry with me.

And finally I write up my Daily Greatness Journal, completing the intentions and inspired actions.

This morning was a little different. My daughter is home from university at the moment and she uses Earth Magic oracle cards. The card she chose for me was the Dragonfly. It’s such a beautiful image of a nature goddess emerging from the water, crowned with flowers, surrounded by dragonflies. Everything is vibrant.

According to the card I am emerging into the next cycle of my life. Well that would be my move from Mother to Crone. It goes on to inform me that this process is happening much more quickly than I have ever experienced change before, relentless. Yup! Most of the time these changes scare the crap out of me. Thank you for that, menopause.

The advice is to shed my ego-defences, sparkle, go with the flow, and gracefully (how the heck do I pull off graceful while scared?) move into the crone phase of my life.

If I come out looking a pretty as the dragonfly it will be worth it. Now where did I put my iridescent blue and green paints?

Wishing you all a magical Monday xx

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Time to change… Stream of Consciousness Saturday

image-2

Passive!

That’s been me for most of my life, particularly when dealing with my formidable mother. As long as I didn’t rock the boat, I managed to dodge the sharp end of her tongue, or the flat, unyielding palm.

Passive Cath, however, is changing.

At the moment I am reading a thought provoking book, “Women Who Run With Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. It contains much wisdom, insight, and positivity, told through age-old tales. There’s much I can learn from ancient women’s wisdom.

I am ready to be a wild driving force in my own life. No longer deferring to to my mother’s idea of who I should be, how I should behave.

No doubt she will chose to seen this as aggressive!


Today’s wonderings are brought to you via a prompt from Linda G Hill. Pop over and have a look at how to join in the fun.

Blog Posts

Time to change… Stream of Consciousness Saturday

image-2

Passive!

That’s been me for most of my life, particularly when dealing with my formidable mother. As long as I didn’t rock the boat, I managed to dodge the sharp end of her tongue, or the flat, unyielding palm.

Passive Cath, however, is changing.

At the moment I am reading a thought provoking book, “Women Who Run With Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. It contains much wisdom, insight, and positivity, told through age-old tales. There’s much I can learn from ancient women’s wisdom.

I am ready to be a wild driving force in my own life. No longer deferring to to my mother’s idea of who I should be, how I should behave.

No doubt she will chose to seen this as aggressive!


Today’s wonderings are brought to you via a prompt from Linda G Hill. Pop over and have a look at how to join in the fun.

Blog Posts

If at first you don’t succeed…

… do you try over and over again?

Or do you take a step back, look at the bigger picture, see if you can spot the issue(s), make adjustments, and then give it another go?

I was reminded this weekend, that one of the definitions of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting to get a different result. With this is mind, I am scrutinising my weight-loss program following the completion of my Couch to 5K challenge.

I haven’t a clue what to change but I’m doing a ton of research. The trouble is the advice is conflicting, confusing, confounding and other words beginning with ‘con’.

What’s a girl to do? Try all the advice and work out which one works? Stick each piece on a dart board and throw a dart to see which one to try? No idea.

Yet!

Lucky me… I know someone who specialises in treating eating disorders. I may bend her ear for advice.

Have a wonderful Tuesday everyone xx

Blog Posts

The best laid plans…

With the prospect of four days back to back, away from the daily grind, hubby and I had lots of plans, mostly involving being outside gardening.

The weather had other plans. I can’t remember a more wet, cold, and depressing Easter. Still, every cloud has a silver lining. I’ve been putting off redecorating Cost Centre 2’s bedroom while he’s been off on his travels. The soggy outside conditions prompted me to move my activities indoors… I got a far as buying paint! Then a dose of the ‘mehs’ struck again. Fortunately they were nipped in the bud when CC2 FaceTimed us to let us know that he is heading home at the beginning of May.

All hands on deck!

Out came the paint brushes, rollers and dust sheets. Over the super-long weekend we have repainted the entire room, cleaned the carpet, and bought new furniture. He will have a lovely room to come home to.

One last task remained. The wardrobe and chest of drawers (which used to fold into a baby changing table) had to go. But what to do with them. Nobody else wanted them. I couldn’t bear to see them broken into kindling. Nothing else for it but to take them to the household recycling site.

With a Harvey heart, we loaded them into my car and drove to the tip. I was unusually quiet on the way. I felt that if I started to speak, I’d probably start to cry. Instead, I drove tight-lipped and contemplative.

I’m pleased to report that the furniture has been put to good use. The site workers looked at the items and decided they would be ideal for the Upcycling Unit. They will be given a new lease of life, providing some lovely children’s furniture for someone else.

Patting each piece, I said my goodbyes and thanks, turned away and got back in my car. Again, silent tears slid down my face as I mentally waved goodbye the last reminders of my children’s childhood. The weather joined in as the heavens opened, flooding the roads.

All I can say is “Hurry up Spring. I’m getting too maudlin in this relentless dreary Winter!”