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Deep breath, center, and move on

closeup photo of white petaled flowers
Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

It’s been quite a whirlwind of events in the past 6 weeks or so, hence the radio silence for the past two weeks. It was so hard not to get swept away by the speed and ferocity of events and emotions. In short, I feel like I’ve been flushed down the loo, and run white water rapids with nothing to protect me except my own will to survive! I never knew till now, just how physical grief can be.

If you’re a bit wobbly about reading stuff to do with women’s issues, skip this paragraph! Ok – so a hormone surge appeared out of the blue. The girls (ovary 1 and 2) have been dormant for two years but had an impromptu party, leaving me with the mess to clean up in the form of a couple of egg-sized boob cysts, spectacular hot flushes (honestly, I put out more heat than a massive radiator!) and galloping health anxiety. In spite of reassurance from a variety of healthcare professionals that I am fit and healthy , I still felt I was going to expire… the worst incident happened in the middle of our nearest city, on a Saturday, trying to do Christmas shopping. I felt weak, wobbly, racing heart, hot, cold and ready to cry. Fortunately Mr D wasn’t too far away (he was shopping solo for a surprise for me) and met me with a big hug.

So – if you skipped the last paragraph I have had a few health issues and one anxiety attack in the middle of Christmas shopping. Mr D has been a star throughout all of this, while coping with his own troubles on the work front… those of you who follow this blog will have read yesterday’s One-liner Wednesday and know how badly he’s been treated by his company. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband. Things came to a head on Monday morning, the funeral of my old friend. I didn’t attend as it was for close family only. Once again, tears flowed freely and I let them. The dog got a super-long walk that lunchtime and I think I must have thoroughly bent God’s ear as I walked and talked to Him. I felt better, like I’d turned a corner at last.

Today I had a session with a Tui Na masseur who also happens to be a Reiki master. In between the exquisite pain of pressure points being pressed and released, he was able to tell me he felt I had gone through an emotionally painful time but that my body was indicating it was near the end of processing everything and to keep pushing on towards the finishing line. This is amazing advice considering the charity wrist band I was given by a man selling them in the city while I was having the anxiety attack. It reads ‘Never give up!!!’. As the man placed the band on my hand he held it, looked into my eyes and told me everything would be ok… just stop and breathe deeply. So I did…. I followed the advice of the angel in disguise and the panic reduced.

I have one last piece of self-care to do – I contacted my lovely psychologist, gave her the potted history of the last 8 weeks and agreed a time to talk it all out. After that, dear readers, I guess I will be able to close the door on this episode in my life, hopefully much wiser from the experience. Time will tell.

Thank you for stopping by xx

 

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One-liner Wednesday – on being observant

“The universe is always speaking to us … sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, look around, to believe in something else, something more.” – Nancy Thayer.

Today’s midweek pause for thought was brought to you by the lovely Linda G Hill and her One-liner Wednesday prompt. Click here to find out how to join in the fun.

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From Meh to Motivated!

After a super-hectic weekend, in which I got nothing done on my to-do list, but kept lots of other people happy, I woke up feeling very grumpy and Monday-morningish!

‘Argh! It can’t be 7:00am already… snooze button time.’

What seemed like seconds later –

‘Just one more snooze.’

Nanoseconds later –

‘Nooooo. I need another hour.’

‘Never mind an hour. I need a whole extra Sunday!’ muttered Mr D, buried under pillows and the duvet.

After dragging ourselves vertical, washing, dressing and sorting out the over-enthusiastic pup, Mr D and I were huddled round the breakfast bar with a much needed coffee to hand. With a deep breath, Mr D plunged into his working day, unlike me. I still wasn’t ready to log in.

I have a morning ritual of sorts, things I like to do before I crack on with the paid work.

  • Check in with my rose quartz pendulum
  • Use my pendulum to help select crystals to assist me during the day
  • Select a card from my Angel Oracle deck as a guiding principle for the day
  • Write up the day plan in my Yoga Greatness journal (this bit might involve a gratitude list, an inspiration list and definitely an affirmation list)

This morning I went off piste a little and changed decks to use Earth Magic cards. I wasn’t planning a three card reading (past, present, future) but the deck had other ideas and three fell out as I was shuffling them. And what an inspiring draw!

As a woman just freshly post-menopausal, the Dragonfly Card is so apt. It speaks of intense and rapid change necessary for the next cycle of my life. It also advises going gracefully with the flow into the next stage instead of trying to hold onto the past. Note to self – chillax!

The second card, Spring Equinox, refers to rebirth following challenging times.. Well that’s an understatement, considering what weird and scary symptoms the menopause can generate. Mostly it feels like they might never end. However, this card reminds me to stay string and have faith, the next phase is going to be amazing.

The third card, Dreamtime is almost teasing me. I’d love to be able to sleep well enough to dream, but I’m regularly awake at 3am, unable to fall asleep again. On the occasional night I do sleep well, I don’t remember dreaming. Still, I could try some yoga nidra to get into a state of very deep relaxation. The card advises me to pay attention to any images, sounds, or feeling that pop up during deep relaxation/dreaming, as they will provide a pathway to new creative expression.

Well, with a card draw like that there’s no way I could stay Monday morningish for long. Mind you, I needed a second cuppa to help me avoid a state of deep relaxation (full on snore-fest) during my first online meeting of the day!

Wishing you all a motivating Monday.

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One-liner Wednesday – back to basics

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When all else fails to raise your spirits, I find that going back to basics, in my case spirituality, works best to get me back in my groove.


Today’s midweek ponderings were prompted by the amazing Linda G Hill. Pop on over and join in the fun.

https://lindaghill.files.wordpress.com/2018/05/one-liner-wednesday-badge-2018-19.jpeg?w=825

 

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Ah! That’s better.

The calm after the storm is all the sweeter for having weathered the storm. I think the heady combination of multiple celebrations back to back and the lunar eclipse had quite a disruptive effect on me over the past few days.

Fortunately I’ve learned that these storms do pass. Sometimes you have to ride them out, and other times you need to give yourself a good talking to. Today was ‘talking to’ time.

Pup was hitched up to her lead earlier than usual. She looked at me as if to say

“What’s up Mum? We’re headed out way earlier than usual and you have a ‘look’ that says this is going to be a speed march!”

“It’ll do us both good, pup. I need to have a strong word with myself, and your walk route is the best place for it. Nobody to overhear me.”

An hour later, my move target on my Apple Watch completely smashed, we trooped back in, hot and bothered but happier. Well at least I was. Pup was thirsty and gave me a bit of a reproachful look.

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose and energy, I decided to bake bread without using my mixer. Normally I chuck everything into the bowl, attach the dough hook, and let it do the work. Not today. I was on a mission. There’s nothing quite so much fun as getting your hands into the flour, fingers in a claw shape, and giving everything a good squish. Tactile fun with the added bonus of decent bread at the end.

Next was the kneading… the bit I’m usually happy to leave to the machine. I’d forgotten how tiring it can be. It was almost a full upper body workout! In the past I used to pretend that the dough was a person who’d annoyed me. Great for getting you through the tiring muscle bit. Not today. Today I wanted my bread filled with renewed energy, love, and happiness, so that’s what I focused on as I thumped the poor defenceless dough into shape.

With the weather still warm, the warming wasn’t needed, just a disposable shower cap over my mixing bowl and time.

What to do while I waited?

Listen to a Deepak Chopra talk followed by a pedicure. With everyone one out of the house I had the peace and quiet I needed to listen to the talk. I did not do anything else at the same time… just listened. I used to pride myself on my ninja multitasking skills. Now I see that as not paying attention to what I’m doing. At last I was a human simply being, in the listening state.

It was a great eye-opener… lots of ‘aha’ moments as well as being timely (thank you again, universe).

Then I dug out an unused Christmas pressy… a pedicure kit. An hour later my tootsies were smooth, trimmed, and Barbie pink and my bread dough was ready for knocking back and shaping.

After another Hay House talk the dough was ready for the oven. It would seem that a good talking too was just what I needed.

By the way, the bread turned out delicious.

Wishing you all a terrific Tuesday xxx

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Timely help. Thank you universe!

Girl relaxing on the beach at sunrise, beautiful cloudy sky reflected on the beach, pier in the background, Jacksonville, Florida, USA.

I’m still in a bit of a post-celebratory dip, feeling flat and a little tearful. Damned menopause!

At least a good read through WordPress helps – and here’s a great tool for anyone, whether you are feeling up, down, or simply middling along.

Thanks to Dr Perry for helping to lift my spirits and gain a little more equilibrium.

 

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Nothing is impossible in our all-powerful minds

How interesting that the universe chose this song to wake me up this morning.

And then, waiting for me in my inbox, was an invite to watch some presentations on the Hay House Heal Summit… Dr Joe Dispenza’s Programming your mind for remarkable recovery. Out of curiosity I listened to the presentation. How amazing to hear his story about how he harnessed the power of his own mind to repair significant spinal damage following a terrible road traffic accident.

Defying modern Western medical perceptions, he repaired the damage to his spine by focussing on visualising being healed already and activating his own healing powers amongst other strategies.

It got me thinking about how my own husband is so successful at his job. When I listen to him talking, he describes future events as if they have already happened. Without knowing it, he uses strong visualisation to get what he needs to make things work for him.

I’m going to employ his strategies to help with post-menopause stuff. I described what I had in mind to him and he called it “hippy bollocks!” but to go with whatever makes me happy. He makes me laugh with his description of my practices but he is so supportive. I amuse him most of the time, which is better than pissing him off or having him mock me without humour.

So tonight, me and my hippy bollocks are sorting out some epic hot flushes, wonky shoulder joints, and recurring plantar fascia!

I’ll let you know how I get on.

Happy Friday my lovelies xxx